A Newfound Appreciation for my Mum.

Mar 31, 2019 | Parenting

Now that I’m a parent, I look at others doing the same thing in awe. I try to take and recreate some trait or attitude from anyone or everyone I meet, even if it’s a vow to do things differently to the way they do. Having now experienced the physical and emotional labour of being a mum firsthand, I find myself in the position of having developed a much greater understanding – and appreciation – of my own mum, and how she raised me… as well as considering the things I’m picking up (both consciously and sub-consciously) from her parenting.

Parents make lots of sacrifices, big and small, to look after their tiny humans every day. Every one is worth it, but I definitely wasnt able to properly comprehend how life-changing it is to compromise your body, identity, mindset, lifestyle, career and other relationships until I was doing it myself. There’s a lot more involved than not having a drink for 9 months (not that I managed that anyway..)!

Today is my first Mother’s Day, which feels mad but also really significant, but for my mum it’s her 31st, and her first as a grandmother. I wanted to mark the occasion, however Hallmark, by grouping some of my thoughts on all the things she did, and does, for me and my son.

I’m really lucky, and I have a totally kick-ass mum who I can trust and rely upon for everything. I feel like I’ve long taken that for granted, so it’s time to reflect a little. She’s not perfect (sorry mama!) but there’s definitely some positives I’ve taken from her parenting of me that I replicate now with my son… and today seems the right day to celebrate them!

(By way of context, I’m the oldest of three children, and now, the middle child of us 3 + 2 older step-siblings, one of which has a baby and one of which is expecting!)

My mum is the kind of mum who didn’t shut doors in the house, because she wanted us to know that we could always approach her to talk. I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of grandmum who scours charity shop for bargain second-hand developmental play buys and meticulously cleans and prepares them for grandchild visits. I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of mum who at my birthday parties encouraged everyone to get up, have a go, and be involved, never leaving anyone out. I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of mum that taught me that there are two sides to every story… and sometimes it’s better to be kind than it is to be right. I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of grandmum who spent hours learning my son’s cries, babbles, and idiosyncrasies, so she could help look after him and he’d be totally at ease. I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of mum who knew how overwhelmed I felt after having my baby, and text, called or visited me every day to check in. I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of mum who dropped everything in the middle of the working day to come and comfort me, feed me and make me feel safe during a nasty relationship break-up. I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of mum who took me to the polling station with her even as a little girl and explained the difference between the red, yellow and blue people on the voting slip (as it was then!). I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of grandmum who takes my son to another city every fortnight to the private medical clinic he visits; paying for the travel, treatment and food while he’s there, giving up any of her own plans for those days, and always making a day of it so he can see and do new things. I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of mum who looks after her own mother as much she does her own children, because she needs the help and support. I want to be that kind of mum.

My mum is the kind of mum who texts her children every morning to wish them a great day ahead, and even if she doesn’t hear back, goes ahead and keeps messaging, so we know she’s there. I want to be that kind of mum.

I could write a million of these examples, but you know, you all have the great women in your own lives to celebrate today, so don’t hang around reading this! Even if you’ve got a mate who’s a mum and that’s the only person you know who today is relevant for, drop her a text or send a nice message. It can be a really emotive day, and also a super special one.

Happy Mother’s Day – be you mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, aunties, stepmothers, adoptive mothers, foster mums, carers, sisters, angel mummies, dads who fill in for absent mums, trans-mothers, expectant mums, partner mothers, work mums, pet-mums, women who can’t be mums or women who don’t want to be mums. Happy Sunday!